St. Louis Cardinals: Mike Matheny with a chef knife and eerie music

Happy Halloween to all the St. Louis Cardinals fans out there as I try to scare you in a deep and authentic way– Mike Matheny!

The St. Louis Cardinals finally did the right thing a little too late in 2018 when they ousted then-manager Mike Matheny from the coaching ranks. This was the right move but had it occurred earlier in the season the 2018 campaign may not have been in vain.

But… what if the move wasn’t the right one? What if dismissing Matheny set off a ripple effect that the St. Louis Cardinals might, in fact, feel on this the final day of October? What is not playing in October wasn’t the only terrifying thing happening on Clark Street?

Picture it: Matheny limping home dejected from his failed attempt at managing. He sits despondent in his home flipping through old still photos of his time at the top of the dugout steps. He scrolls through videos of happier times when his management was hidden behind a capable squad who would have succeeded despite his- or anyone else’s- direction.

Then, just when all seems well, we see a twist come across the usual stoic face of Matheny. We see a wrinkle burst upon his typically-chiseled face forced from some unseen displeasure deep in his soul. We see Matheny drop to his knees only to rise with the following, terrifying face:

Picture it: Mike Shildt sitting in his office reviewing pending free agents and other trade targets handed to him from John Mozeliak. Over his shoulder, this face:

Now picture it, newly-hired hitting coach Jeff Albert is in the cages working with Mark Budaska on forming a solid strategy for 2019. Slowly rising from behind a pitching machine:

Frightened yet? Hold on tightly because imagine the fear that would strike deeply into the hearts of players as they entered Jupiter, FL early to work with Jose Oquendo and they see this waiting for them at the front door of the St. Louis Cardinals suite:

Ready to be truly and deeply frightened? What if none of the scenarios above come true but Matheny’s affect on the team is felt nevertheless? What if the 2019 St. Louis Cardinals find it difficult at best to shake off the ghost of Matheny?

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How would this look? To me it would be Dexter Fowler continuing to slump but finding regular playing time. It would look like Matt Carpenter rolling around the batting lineup despite obvious comfort and success in a particular spot.

Worst yet, it would look like a bullpen in continued disarray and mismanagement. It would be left-handed pitchers used beyond their worth and beyond their abilities such that they burn out. It would be repeated incidents of Trevor Rosenthal warming up in the bullpen when he hadn’t yet healed.

Lastly, the really scary thing about a remnant Matheny would be yet another year of mediocrity– not quite losing outright but not winning either. This should chill the blood of any true St. Louis Cardinals fan.

I hope you enjoyed this fun Halloween special piece. I doubt that any of the above would be true but I would beg that the Cardinals employees look repeatedly over their shoulders!