Thanksgiving Feast: St. Louis Cardinals edition

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Let me begin by saying this article is purely for fun. There is no agenda. There are no stats. This piece is purely for joy.

I took it upon myself to try and identify which St. Louis Cardinals players reminded me of various food staples at Thanksgiving parties. This was initially challenging because I had to put aside my own biases (turkey over ham, cranberries are gross, etc.) to complete this rigorous challenge. I then had to mull over every player to see if he fit the description of that particular food.

I identified ten Thanksgiving food staples and the Cardinals player that best fits that particular food. I'll start my rundown with appetizers and salads, followed by the main course, and I'll close out with various desserts. Without further ado, let's get started!

Miles Mikolas: The salad

This one is corny. Miles Mikolas tosses the ball to home plate each at bat. Salads must be tossed before they are served. I warned you. Additionally, a salad is a conglomeration of many things: lettuce, cheese, croutons, onions, tomatoes, nuts, cracked pepper (see where I'm going?), and dressing. Miles Mikolas is a man of many interests, a renaissance man of sorts. Even his nickname, "The Lizard King", is unique. A salad is often the first food item people eat at dinner. As a starting pitcher, Mikolas is the first player to get the ball during a game. Due to Mikolas's vast array of interests and skills, I chose him as the salad.

Andre Pallante: Appetizers (veggie tray, charcuterie board)

Typically, appetizers aren't served at Thanksgiving meals. You want the main course to be the feature. Appetizers will fill people up, leaving them less interested in the main course. Therefore, appetizers are a background, light snack before the main course. They have a purpose, but that purpose isn't to fill people up. Andre Pallante, a pitcher who has started in the past and could be an opener next year at times, is our appetizer tray. You don't need Pallante to be excited about a game, but you're happy he's there if the team needs him. If you come to a dinner starving or if the meal isn't served until late, you're happy to have some snacks.

The Main Course

Ryan Helsley: The hot rolls

This one was simple. Rolls are best served hot. Ryan Helsley throws the heat. Everyone loves it when the rolls are fresh out of the oven (bullpen) ready to be eaten (or ready to pitch). Moving on!

Jordan Walker: Macaroni and cheese

Macaroni and cheese is at at Thanksgiving meal primarily for the children. It isn't the item the adults go to first. Jordan Walker, as one of the youngest players in all of baseball, seems to fit the mac and cheese mold. He is young, talented, and fun to watch. Macaroni and cheese is there for the kids, but even the adults will sneak a spoonful or two of the golden pasta doused in cheese.

Nolan Arenado: Mashed potatoes

There are only a few foods that have been around on Thanksgiving for decades. Mashed potatoes is one of those items. They are on virtually every plate in America, they are always reliable, and they are smooth. Nolan Arenado is also loved by fans across the country, he is a constant force in the middle of the lineup, and his defense is smooth and fun to watch. He is the stereotypical mashed potato entree.

Paul Goldschmidt: Turkey or ham (your preference)

Another staple of Thanksgiving is turkey or ham. I tend to lean towards turkey, but either meat will be at tables across the country. These meats are hearty, classics, and necessary to make a Thanksgiving meal complete. Paul Goldschmidt is also a strong man, a quiet yet powerful player, and he completes a team. He is the calm leader who steps up whenever he is called upon, and without Goldschmidt, this Cardinals team wouldn't be nearly the same. A Thanksgiving meal without turkey or ham just isn't the same.

Tommy Edman: Gravy

Gravy is the most versatile item on a Thanksgiving plate. It can be poured on top of either your turkey or ham, or it can sit inside a nice mashed potato bowl. People don't mind if a little bit of gravy spreads into other food items on their plates, and gravy enhances each portion of the meal. Tommy Edman's versatility alone makes him the perfect gravy choice. He can play multiple positions, and the players love when he gives them an assist.

Brendan Donovan: Stuffing

To me, stuffing and gravy are similar. You don't typically eat these items by themselves, but they are versatile foods that make the other foods around them better. Brendan Donovan fits that mold. He, too, is able to play multiple positions, and he makes the play of those around him better. Stuffing has plenty of unique elements to it, and Brendan Donovan's personality can also place him in the background of situations rather than a foreground, star role.

Matthew Liberatore: Green bean casserole

Green beans are a lean, stringy food. When mixed with butter and cheese in a casserole, the green beans all of a sudden become a lot more tantalizing as a food. Matthew Liberatore is a tall, lanky fellow as well. He is a good pitcher on his own, but when he's paired with a potent offense and a reliable bullpen, he appears that much better.

Desserts

Willson Contreras: Sweet potato casserole

I'll be honest, I am wholly unfamiliar with sweet potato casserole. I'm a pie guy, particularly chocolate pies. Sweet potato casserole was a new item in my eyes. From what I've heard and read, sweet potato casserole is a good combination of sweet and savory. It is lively and full of flavor. Willson Contreras is known for many things both on and off the field, but his excitable nature and positive clubhouse presence are two of his most well-known qualities. He is often seen shouting and cheering on the bench, and he helps control the game as the catcher. Sweet potato casseroles are full of flavor and zing, just like Contreras.

Nolan Gorman: Apple pie

Apple pie isn't the table-setter item. It's the ringer. It's brought out once every other food has done its job. Without any additional toppings, apple pie is good, but if it's sprinkled with some whipped cream and/or cinnamon, look out! The spicy-sweet combination of cinnamon will be sufficient to make you go back for seconds. Nolan Gorman is that type of player. He typically won't set the table (get on base), but boy, will he clear the table! He has some serious pop, but his humility also makes him a very likable player.

Lars Nootbaar: Pumpkin pie

I believe the saying goes: "Everyone loves pie." If that's the case, and it typically is from my experience, then Lars Nootbaar is the clear choice for pie, particularly pumpkin pie, the favorite of pies around the nation. Not only do fans love Lars Nootbaar, but other players do as well. He has been seen chatting up Japanese players such as Yoshinobu Yamamoto this offseason, and he is rising as one of the most popular players in the world. Everyone loves pie, and everyone loves Lars Nootbaar.

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