Not in the Cards: Four Players We Love to Hate
I love listing players we love to hate. By definition they could never abide The Cardinal Way™, and the fact is not many can fit snugly into the relaxed but businesslike vibe in St. Louis. Starting pitcher Shelby Miller chafed at it, so John Mozeliak swapped the righty for a better fit. And boy, did outfielder Jason Heyward work out. That’s why Steve McNeil wrote this with big crocodile tears in his eyes. (Don’t worry, Steve. My magic 8-ball says Hayward is staying. So we’re good.)
Miller isn’t the only one who doesn’t fit in with Cardinals, Inc. Remember Colby Rasmus? We all knew he was destined to go elsewhere and grow ridiculous hair.
This year, July import Brandon Moss ended up being one of the Cardinal’s disappointments. Listen, Moss is an absolutely great dude. Humblebrag alert: I’ve interviewed him several times, and he’s always been hilarious. But that was when he was with the Oakland Athletics, and Moss has never been the same since he left that loosey-goosey club. Skip to the nine-minute mark of this interview. Think that kind of behavior plays under the Arch? I think not.
But maybe acquiring Moss this year was a good reminder to Mozeliak that personality is right up there with playing ability when considering an outsider for the Cards. Note to Mo: here are four guys you should absolutely not consider trading for or signing via free agency.
(Editor’s Note: I’m just going to leave Brandon Phillips off the list because he’s not even worth it anymore. K? K.)
Yasiel Puig
‘s potential buys him far too much slack in L.A. Looks like they’ll keep giving it to him. Which is nice (for the rest of us). Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports
There are actually written tenets of The Cardinal Way™, then there are the unwritten ones. One of the latter is that you play hurt, especially in the postseason. It’s why we love Yadier Molina so dang much. Anyone who has ever spoken to him in person can see how tired he is from taking such a beating behind home plate every day. Think how painful it was of him to catch with a sprained thumb in the NLDS. I don’t care how fat Yadi’s catcher’s mitt is. A Trevor Rosenthal heater will smart. At the far other end of the spectrum, you have Puig, who pulled this garbage heading into the postseason. (Puig played just 79 games in ’15, by the way.) But hey, good news Cardinals fans. The Dodgers generally feel like this about their semi-regular left fielder, so he’ll never be on the trading block to tempt Mozeliak or any other GM. Good!
Matt Harvey
Careful! Don’t pitch
too much or he’ll sic his uber agent on you! Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports
I can almost hear the oxygen getting sucked out of the room. How dare I! Anyone would be lucky to have Harvey, right? Wrong. The fireballing righthander hamstrung the Mets down the stretch, becoming a huge distraction with his pitch count drama. The situation calmed down as soon as the Mets reached the playoffs, of course, and Harvey finally came out and told reporters he was all in for the team. But not before unnecessarily making himself out to be a me-first kind of guy. Look, the Mets have sketchy history handling their players’ health. But Harvey had several chances to diffuse the situation and didn’t do it. Meanwhile, he continues his love affair with himself and his accompanying fame in New York. In St. Louis, we prefer our guys focus on winning ballgames. So if the Mets dangle Harvey this winter, as the rumors had it back in September, Mozeliak should run in the other direction. Fast.
Hanley Ramirez
I predict the flying-helmet-on-a-swinging-strike thing will be
‘ signature move in Boston. Credit: Caylor Arnold-USA TODAY Sports
The Red Sox’ signing of Ramirez last winter had disaster written all over it as soon as it happened. Then now former GM Ben Cherrington (or Sox ownership, depending on who you believe) doubled down and signed another underachiever
. But I digress. Ramirez got a contract as bloated as Sandoval, and now Red Sox Nation has to deal with Ramirez’ lackluster effort through 2018. In year one of that contract, he already had an OPS as low as it’s been since 2011. With apologies to
, here’s how I feel about that:
Jonathan Papelbon
Hey, look at that. No teammates are anywhere near Papelbon in the dugout. Coincidence? I think not. Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
Papelbon has long been regarded as one of the biggest jerks in the game, but he really outdid himself this year. I know his Washington Nationals teammate Bryce Harper gets a lot of grief, too, but good on Harper for calling out Papelbon for doing this. That ball was too high, and frankly, screw any pitcher who decides to weaponize his fastball by throwing it deliberately at any part of a hitter. And that goes for Cardinals, pitchers, too. If you listened to meathead former players who are now current pundits, you heard them say that this nice little incident was because Harper didn’t duly respect Papelbon’s attempt to endear himself to his new teammates (the Nats got him at the deadline) by nearly killing an Oriole. This is the only response I can manage. Here’s hoping Papelbon doesn’t get another contract. But we all know he will. Again, this.