2013 Concessions Awards

Tough choices.  Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

To have fun and analyze the 2013 St. Louis Cardinals in a new way, I am thrilled to award the first annual Concessions Awards for Redbird Rants.  The food, drinks and snacks are composed of a combination of both Busch II’s and Busch III’s items.

The Kosher Dog Award is given to Yadier Molina who brought it all to the diamond nearly every single game this year.  Yadi helped the pitchers reach their potential weather they were a green rookie or a salty vet, plus he had his most productive year with the bat.  He had it all, just like delicious Kosher Dogs do.  No matter what is on top, it is what is in the middle that matters.

The Bratzel Award goes to Matt Carpenter because of his one two punch of meaty offense and filling defense. Players that see so many pitches without batting gloves are more rare than the Bratzel at Busch.

The Dipping Dots Award is shared by Shelby Miller, Michael Wacha and Carlos Martinez because they are the future of the organization.  They were all good this year and they are all subtly different in the potentially dominant future that they should have.

The Jumbo Dog Award goes to Carlos Beltran who had another monstrous year in 2013, especially in the post-season.  Los got to his first World Series and made it a memorable one from the start.

The Super Nachos Award is given to Jake Westbrook who started off hot and spicy and ended up cold and useless.

The Cotton Candy Award goes to former Cardinals third baseman David Freese because he had so many opportunities to be good, but only the memories of the past made him sweet.  While he did have two very vital offensive performances, one in the NLDS and one in the NLCS, he grounded into 700 double plays.

The Popcorn Award is given to Jaime Garcia because he was decent until the bottom of the box opened and his arm fell off.  Hopefully surgery will keep him together in 2014 and beyond.

The Cracker Jack Award deceivingly goes to Pete Kozma.  He played solid defense all year but didn’t hit, at all. The postseason showed that he was only as good as the crappy sweet peanuts that people try to convince themselves aren’t terrible.

The Super Rope Licorice Award is given to Jon Jay who was a great deal.  He was not making remarkable plays or awful ones, but in the end he just was not enough.

The Soda (with a free straw) Award goes to Matt Holliday because he proved to be worth the big bucks.  Maybe it is the extra syrup from the fountain, or the often scorching summer temperatures, whatever it was, Holliday proved to be an offensive threat throughout the long season.

The Busch Award deservingly goes to manager Mike Matheny because he was depndable.  No major surprises at all. He didn’t win many games for STL, but until the Fall Classic he didn’t lose many either.

The Budweiser Award goes to none other than Carp.  Chris Carpenter was in the clubhouse, on the bench and even on the road throughout his final season as a player.  He shared his wisdom with plenty of  youngsters and helped intimidate opposing players without even taking the field.

The Bud Light Award fittingly goes to Lance Lynn who came into spring training as a shadow of his former husky self.  He showed that hard work made him more sustainable, but by the post season he was a bit flat.

The Michelob Award goes to Matt Adams because he is better than he looks.  Sure he would benefit from the Lance Light offseason workout, but he was premium when crunch time arrived.  Backing up Allen Craig as a rookie was tough, but he did it as well as possible.

The Ice Cream Award is given to Trevor Rosenthal for being so cold.  Only a couple of times this year did Rosenthal do anything less than strike out anyone in front of him.  Ice Cold!

The Pizza Award goes to Tony Cruz because he was there, but no one got to see him.  It is great to know that he was there, just in case.

The Hamburger Award goes to Adron Chambers who was really great that one time he won a game in extra innings.  However, if a burger is being craved, stop by Eat Rite and don’t fake the funk.

The Lemonade Award goes to the always sweet and rarely lacking Adam Wainwright.  Although there are better beverages out there, it is comforting to know that when it is needed the thirst can be quenched.

The Salad Award is given to Jason Motte because he was somewhere at all times, but he was not able to be part of the games themselves.  It was comforting to know that he would be back, but it is unknown how he will fit in in 2014.