Fan suffering from ESOS.
The Redbirds major league season is 9 days old. That is younger than my last manicure. Yet, as is typical with Cardinals fans who suffer from ESOS, the amount of fan tittering about this player’s performance and that player’s performance, and OMG somebody stubbed their toe let’s make a trade for a replacement, is at a skyrocketing rate. Some of the typical fan overreaction that I have seen, and my response to it, is set out in the post below. Feel free to shake your head and roll your eyes as much as I have.
Jason Motte may be out for the season, let’s sign Brian Wilson NOW!—-No, let’s not. Brian Wilson has had two, count them, two, Tommy John surgeries on his elbow. Brian Wilson is the same age as Adam Wainwright. Brian Wilson was not that good of a pitcher before the last surgery. Yeah, he has that freaky beard thing going and he’s colorful, but if you ask me he is a little touched in the head. Adam Wainwright’s dugout dances are entertaining and funny. Brian Wilson is just a scary dude. I say pass.
Matt Carpenter is the second coming of Chase Utley at 2B so let’s trade Kolten Wong for a shortstop.— I love Matt Carpenter like a son, and he is doing fine so far in the limited time he has played 2B, but geez louise folks, this is a small sample size on steroids. Kolten Wong was drafted and is being groomed to be the second baseman of the future. Plus, there is nothing wrong with the way he is playing in the minors. Give it a rest with the trade nonsense. No one is going to send Matt Carpenter to the Gulag anytime soon and replace him with Wong, I promise.
Matt Adams is a beast and his value is high now so let’s trade him for a shortstop.— Stop trading away the team piece by piece for a shortstop. I mean, seriously, stop it. Matt Adams is where he should be, doing what he should be doing for the foreseeable future. He hits bombs from the left side. Since Ty Wigginton can’t hit the Titanic with a sledgehammer from the right side, somebody has to do it from some side. And we have a shortstop. He may not be everyone’s dream, but he is doing his job so far. When or if he stops doing his job, then we will talk again.
Trade Matt Holliday to clear payroll and clear an OF spot for Oscar Taveras.— I simply do not understand where all the Matt Holliday hate comes from. People seem to see him as some high paid albatross, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Given his production since he was acquired, Matt has more than earned the money he is being paid. In fact, I see his contract as a bargain. In Sabermetric circles, a player’s value is measured in terms of WAR (Wins Above Replacement) and each win is calculated to be worth 5.5 million dollars. Matt Holliday was worth 6.3 WAR in 2010, 4.8 WAR in 2011, and 4.7 WAR in 2012. That means that Holliday was worth, in terms of wins, 34.6 million, 26.4 million, and 25.85 million respectively in those years. Holliday was paid 17 million in each of those years. If you think that is not a bargain, then you are bad at math and something else which I won’t mention.
Furthermore, if the Cardinals felt Oscar Taveras was ready to play in the big leagues, he would be in St. Louis right now instead of Memphis. The kid is 20 years old. He isn’t going to melt, or do a reverse Benjamin Button in the next 5 months. Relax.
OMG we need to have Oscar Taveras in the lineup RIGHT NOW so trade or release somebody, anybody— See above. Also, if you believe this, you need to take a Stress Management course, or take your meds, or stop taking something else you are taking. Seriously, you are going to kill yourself.
If you are an ESOS sufferer, my advice is this: When you find one of these spasms come on you, take deep breaths, hold them for 4 seconds, then exhale slowly. Repeat this 8 times. If this doesn’t work, watch Game 6 of the 2011 World Series, then repeat, and repeat again. You can overcome this.