Five Things I’d Rather See Banned Than Defensive Shifts

In an interview with ESPN, MLB’s new commissioner Rob Manfred has suggested that in order to inject more offense in the game, the league may want to consider banning defensive shifts.

Sure, I hated the shift when it was being used against the St. Louis Cardinals as much as anyone. But? When the Cardinals could use it effectively against other teams? I loved it. It’s a very interesting strategy that teams can implement in order to out smart the other team. A good chess move, if you will.

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It’s not hurting anyone. If anything, it’s intriguing for those who want to see strategy in a game. People think baseball is boring. This adds something for those people.

That said. There are things I would rather see banned. Let me tell you about those things!

1. The use of tobacco products in the dugout. It’s a disgusting habit. It’s gross. Unhealthy. It causes cancer. It screws up an otherwise perfectly lovely smile. And? It’s a horrible thing for kids watching on television to see their favorite player in the dugout spitting that disgusting crap. It really gets under my skin to see the camera watching a player, and talking about what a good dude said player is but he’s sitting there cutting up, with a huge load of dip in between his gum and cheek, spitting out this gross brown substance. Remember Joe Kelly doing that? Remember how awesome your kiddo, or a kiddo in your life, thought Joe Kelly was? Do you want your kiddo doing what Joe Kelly does? Yeah. Ban that please. Ban it right now.

2. Players found guilty of Performance Enhancing Drug use for a second time. There really should be no discussion of Alex Rodriguez coming back to the game. He’s a cheater. And a liar. Ban cheaters and liars.

3. The wait time managers use in deciding whether or not to challenge. Especially when the ultimate decision is to not do it. Maybe there should be a separate umpire at each game and they say we’re going to review this play immediately in New York. And they consider every play. If they find it the least bit questionable, they chime in immediately and have it looked at. Kind of like the other leagues do it. It’s not a totally new concept. It’s a concept you can just do. If said umpire makes no move to look at the play, then the manager can request. It’s something to look into more and just consider.

4. Drinking and Driving. If you’re a player, and you drink, you have to call someone if you need to get elsewhere. If you don’t, and it’s found out, you’re suspended. The league could team up with a driving service and make it easy and non-judgey for the players. It keeps them and their community safe. Create a baby-sitting service for these players with drinking issues if it is such a problem. In the wake of losing Oscar Taveras in such a tragic way, it would be a nice way to honor him. And the fans. Our organization has had a lot of tragedy. And it’s steeped in a Budweiser tradition in a Budweiser town. Have the breweries, etc., step up and be supportive of this plan too.

5. The Wave. It’s a completely dumb thing fans do because their kid is bored. Or. They are bored by the game and they do it.  It’s dumb. It’s a dumb attention ploy. It distracts from a beautiful game. Just stop it. It’s dumb. BAN THE WAVE, COMMISSIONER!