My 2013 Predictions (Not What You Think)

It is customary at the beginning of each season for predictions about the outcome of the season to be made by media, fans, etc.  These predictions will include what teams will win their divisions, how many games will each team win, who makes the postseason, etc.  I don’t like to make predictions, it’s just a personal thing of mine, but I am going to make an exception this year.  However, my predictions are not those that you would typically see. Read on and enjoy.

March 28, 2013; Jupiter, FL, USA; A close up view of an official major league baseball in the hands of a fan seeking autographs during the spring training game between the Miami Marlins and the St. Louis Cardinals at Roger Dean Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brad Barr-USA TODAY Sports

1.  Manager most likely to be the first to be ejected.  There were a number of good candidates in my mind for this one, but I am going to take the easy route and go with Dusty Baker.   Good old Dusty never met an issue he wasn’t prepared to complain about, including this year’s complaint about the use of the DH in a Spring Training game.  Dusty can always be relied upon to make people roll their eyes and say “Typical”.

2.  Manager most likely to bunt in the first inning with no outs and a man on first. Come on Cardinal Nation, we know this one is a no brainer.  Our beloved Mike Matheny wins this one hands down.

3.  Umpire most likely to make the first bad call on the bases.  My first instinct was to go with an easy pick, like Angel Hernandez or Joe West, but I am not going to do that.  My pick is going to be Laz Diaz, who can always be counted on to do something so mystifying that you would actually prefer Angel Hernandez or Joe West.  Just ask Russell Martin.

4.  Ball park most likely to have the first streaker.  The easy choice here is Citizens Bank Park, because well, Philly has the worst fans in baseball, but again I am going to avoid the obvious.  I am going to pick Safeco Field.  Why?  Just because.  Go with me here.

5.  Pitcher most likely to be the first to be hit by a come backer.  CC Sabathia.  He’s a big target and he’s a Yankee.  Duh.

6.  Announcer most likely to be the first to mispronounce “Descalso”.  Either Steve Berthiaume or Bob Brenly.  We play the dbacks first, don’t we?  Well.

7.  First TOOTBLAN.  First runner to try to run on Yadier Molina.

8.  First home team to have someone butcher the National Anthem.  Milwaukee Brewers.  Name a famous singer from Milwaukee without using Google.  I rest my case.

9.  First Announcer to mention Albert Pujols in a Cardinal game.  See No. 6 above.

10.  You thought there were going to be ten?  Do I look like David Letterman?

Thank you for reading and enjoy the 2013 season.